


Happy Birthday, Eddward

by Qu33rios



Series: The Eighth Month of the Year [5]
Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: 1:33 AM, Day 5, Horror, I can't write Horror, KevEdd - Freeform, M/M, Slasher, gay shit, kevin x edd - Freeform, really want some hash browns now, shitty horror, the hash slinging, the sash singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 17:35:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15587142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qu33rios/pseuds/Qu33rios
Summary: It’s Edd’s birthday and there’s a slasher in the cabin located in the middle of the forest. Who do you think survives?





	Happy Birthday, Eddward

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I don’t think I can write horror because I’m a little bitch but just as you’re reading this pretend like the Jaws theme is playing

 

“I got the perfect movie. Let’s watch Cabin in the Woods.” Lee flipped between movie channels looking for horror and gore.

“How about we watch you suck my dick, fuck that dumb shit.” Eddy scoffed, grabbing the remote from her.

“Glady.” She snickered. “How do you feel about that?” She directed her gaze to the blonde across the room. Eddy sank into his spot on the couch next to his girlfriend, Nazz. He rolled his eyes, narrowing his eyebrows and glaring daggers at the Kanker sister. He wasn’t in a mood for messing around and certainly not for pissing Nazz off more than she already was. She gave him a look that told him he was on even thinner ice than before.

“Alright how about we chill the fuck out?” Marie came in from the kitchen, holding two open beers in each hand. “Who want’s a beer? They’re fresh~!” She cooed, holding them out to the different adults sitting among the living room.

“No thanks, I don’t even drink.” Edd rejected her offer and she shrugged and moved on. Nazz, Eddy, Ed, and Rolf took the first four. She chuckled at the idea of having a twenty-first birthday party for someone who doesn’t drink and then decided to dedicate her time to her friends as a server, heading back to retrieve four more.

“Why can’t we watch Cabin in the Woods?” Plank asked, happily taking the beer from the blue haired goddess. “Thanks doll.”

Eddy snapped back at him. “I don’t know idiot, maybe because we’re in a CABIN in the WOODS?”

“For once I agree with Dorky over there.” Kevin chimed in, coming back from the bathroom. “That’s gotta be bad mojo.”

Tomorrow was Edd’s twenty-first birthday and to celebrate, Eddy and Ed had planned a glorious trip to the wilderness. Nazz offered to talk to her parents about putting money towards a renting a cabin and somehow received their support. Miraculously, the three planned what would have been the greatest surprise ever, if Ed hadn’t told Rolf and if Rolf hadn’t told Jonny and Jonny to Plank and Plank to Nat and Nat to Kevin and so on. It didn’t help that Eddy let the surprise slip out during his encounter with Lee…. And Lee HAD to tell her sisters. Now Edd’s small birthday party was completely flipped upside down. Eddy explained this when they arrived and saw a line of people Edd hadn’t seen since high school, including the handsome Kevin Barr. They made weird eye contact and nodded to one another, avoiding speaking.

“So you’re saying if we watch a movie then we’re going to get murdered.” Plank chuckled between sips. “Yeah bro, sounds legit.” Eddy then sent his evil eyes to Plank, seemed his bad attitude was infectious. Yet who could blame him? It’s hard to be happy and smile when your girlfriend knows you cheated on her. However that’s an issue for another time.

“What about Scream 2.” After seven more movies were rejected, the group made a unanimous decision to Rolf’s suggestion. What’s the worst that could happen?

Edd gets frightened easily, this is a concept that everyone understands, now why his friends had decided to only bring horror movies with them to celebrate Edd’s birth was not a concept he understood. Frankly, Edd found gore distasteful and though he was thankful his friends had decided to do something so special for him, especially since he graduated early again, yet Edd couldn’t help but feel certain aspects were a little selfish. He detested large groups, and despite the fact his anxiety had mellowed out since high school, Edd felt uncomfortable in the current situation. He felt his friends had ignored that aspect of him. Beers were scattered throughout the house and the fridge was full of intoxicating substances, drinking also was not Edd’s favorite pastime. Adding horror, and Edd felt miserable.

The movie began. Edd was well aware the actors were idiotic, the music was manipulative and purposely used to increase his blood pressure. Right when a scare was due or suspected or unexpected something would happen on screen Edd would leap up in his seat. About thirty minutes in, Kevin stood to shut the light off, many moved and cuddled up next to the TV screen, Edd had to admit after some time, it wasn’t the disaster he assumed the night would turn into, but he still hated the movie choice. Nazz and Eddy moved upstairs to discuss their issues. Plank and Nat moved upstairs to discuss their… “Issues.” Edd and Kevin were the only two that remained on the couch.

With each loud noise that exited the speakers, a spasm would hike up his leg and he’d jump to keep from screaming. After one especially terrifying scare when the killer came from behind a corner and stabbed the victim to death Edd threw his arms into the couch, holding on for dear life. What he didn’t expect, was to grab a fistful of a familiar ginger’s crotch instead of synthetic microfiber.

Edd and Kevin both shared horrified glances with red cheeks, but both said nothing as it would give the situation away to everyone around them. The nerd’s cheeks flushed darker and he retreated his hand immediately. He wanted to apologize, but the words just didn’t come out.

Suddenly the TV screen went black, the microwave in the kitchen beeped and the porch light shut off. The power had been turned off. Upstairs the group could hear the pair of teens, most likely Eddy and Nazz yell in fear and call out for help.

Kevin was the first to stand, “Alright SERIOUSLY Eddy? I can think about TEN THOUSAND other pranks that are funnier than THIS!” When nothing responded, a nervous chill danced down his spine. Edd felt wobbly, fear shook through and rattled In his bones. “I’m so not in the mood for dorks tonight.” Kevin flipped the flashlight on his phone on, instructing the rest of them to do the same. His cell service was dead, not that he was surprised by that with Sprint.

“We gotta check upstairs.” Marie insisted, being first to lead a search party forward. Rolf and Ed were already behind her as they too were interested with the sudden madness.

 “Okay so if this was a horror movie which it totally isn’t because obviously Eddy is trying to be a fucker, going after the screaming just sounds like a stupid idea.”

 “What Kevin, are you afraid?” The blue haired woman chuckled. Strangely, she seemed unaffected by the situation.

“Yeah are you?” Lee and May supported their sister, stepping forward to follow. Jonny was asleep on a bean bag by the TV, no one thought to wake him.

Kevin rolled his eyes and decided it would be best to follow suit and check out the noise. Beside him, Edd quickly shuffled his feet by Kevin’s side. Though wouldn’t admit to anyone he was afraid, but his legs were trembling and if his mouth opened his teeth chattered. While following the badass Kanker up the flight of stairs, Kevin turned to Edd and mouthed, “You okay?” Eddy nodded shakily with a wide fake smile in response, and Kevin knew he was lying.

Creaking from their footsteps, Edd wondered if the wood could give out from all the weight. Shadows melted with the walls, no one person held their light straight. It was overwhelming, much like strobe lights. In his frightened state, Edd had even forgot he had his own phone he could have used as a flashlight.

“Did you hear that?” Marie stopped, holding her hand back and causing a ripple in the group as they finally made it upstairs.

Kevin felt the need to give attitude back. “All I hear is yours and EDDY’S BULLSHIT Marie, seriously stop.”

“Will you stop screaming!” She whispered back, glaring in the darkness. “There,” She pointed to the room directly across the stairs. “I hear something.”

Marie took one step at a time to the door, the rest stood behind her, keeping a reasonable distance. Arms reach of the door knob, she grabbed it and flung the door open, shinning the light directly into the center of the room. What she, and the rest of them saw was petrifying.

 

Their eyes followed the door frame, leading up to the bed where Marie flashed the brightness into an entangled Plank and Nat, both down in their boxers and grinding into the sheets.

“Righteous!” Marie laughed, a series of phones then all directed at the two, and from the light each person could see Nat’s individual fingers on the other’s hips.

With four to five lights all on the pair, they noticed. “What the hell?” Nathan called out, kicking Plank off him and holding his hand in the air, trying to block the blinding light. “Can’t a guy hook up in peace?”

“Did ya’ll hear the yelling?” May asked through the towering crowd. Plank and Nat looked to one another briefly before responding.

“Um, not that I know of? Wait yeah we thought it was one of you losers watching the movie.” They chuckled together.

Another scream erupted from downstairs, sending the entire group of adults into a panic. “Jonny!” Recognizing his cousin’s distinct voice, Plank shouted for him and ran, pushing through the others. The group followed behind with flash lights in hand, but nothing could be seen while everyone was flailing around. Searching for Plank, they saw him standing at the foot of the bean bag chair where Jonny was nowhere to be found, the front door was wide open.

Kevin was about to make another comment, when they heard Nat upstairs continue the pattern. “MoTHER FUCK!” They heard him scream followed by a massive crash, the sound of a window breaking.

“NAT!” Kevin yelped out, splitting from to group to run towards his friend. Edd followed suit, sticking close to him.

“Guys wait!”

The ginger cleared two stairs at a time before he made it to the room they were literally just in. The light from his phone showed red stains all over the white sheets and wood floor, leading directly to the window, where it was completely shattered. The shards too were stained crimson.

“This shit is so fucked man.” Kevin whispered, turning to Edd. “What the fuck is this shit man?”

Edd shook his head, he wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come out. Anxiety pooled in his stomach and all the male could do was shake and hope. He felt a presence creep up behind him, Edd’s breathing deepened and it became harder to obtain air calmly, a hand caressed his shoulder and he jumped forward into Kevin, who held him protectively as an instinctual reaction. “Wait it’s just me!” Marie stated, squinting as Kevin projected his flashlight at her. “Is that blood?” She exclaimed, but Kevin looked away, unsure of what to think, “I told the two of you not to run away, we need to stick together.”

Kevin scoffed, not letting go of the smaller adult, “So where the fuck is everyone then?” He growled towards her and she turned, finding that not a single person had followed her.

“Damnit!”

“MARIE! HELP!” Lee called out, along with Plank, May and Ed. They all screamed, footsteps scattering along the wood flooring. Neither Kevin or Edd could move, they were frozen. Another crash was heard, a lamp knocked over, more struggling was audible, more screaming, it seemed endless.

“THEY GOT ED AND LEE!” May shouted, running up the stairs, she was covered in speckles of red fluid, and her face read danger. Kevin kept his light on her long enough to see her almost make it all the way up the stairs when she tripped and looked towards them for help, before being pulled down the steps. The entire way down with each thud she yelped, “MARIE HELP ME!”

“MAY!” Marie cried out, dropping her phone face down, she leaped into the darkness to try to grab her sister. The two males watched a knife soar through the air and connect with the door to the room they were in, sticking. Different sounds were heard, but most inaudible through the final cries for help.

“Fuck this fuck this fuck this,” Kevin whispered under his breath, grabbing Edd, lifting him up and dragging his feet along the floor. He opened a closet and stepped inside, pulling Edd in with him. Marie’s phone still sat on the ground as he slid the wood along until it was shut. They both dropped to the floor, quietly of course, and were shaking.

“I can’t die on my birthday.” Edd managed to choke out, breathing heavy and nearly throwing up, “Eddy….Ed…”

“Shhh, shhh,” Kevin comforted him, Edd fell into his arms, tears pouring silently from his eyes. For the first time in a long time, Kevin was on the verge of shedding tears himself. “You aren’t alone, I’m here.” He cooed carefully. They both heard the loud footsteps, the cabin creaking underneath as the individual responsible came closer and closer. “Edd I need to tell you something.”

Edd glanced over, his eyesight was failing, especially in the dark, Kevin still knew he was listening, or at least trying to through the beating in his ears.

“Edd I love you I always have and I thought when we graduated it would go away but here we are and I fucking love you so much I’m so sorry I never told you I’m sorry, I’m sorry...” Kevin was pushed over, his barrier broken, as hot and salty droplets fell down his cheeks. Edd felt these, and lifted his head slowly, the footsteps were just a few seconds away and they were close to their end. Edd slowly gripped Kevin’s chin and brought his entire head down and closer enough to where they could steal their first and final kiss.

 

It was time.

 

 

 

The door was pulled back and on flipped all the light known to man, a group of their bloody peers stood in front of them screaming, “SURPRISE HAPPY BIRTHD- Woah.” Kevin and Eddward separated from the kiss with a dirty string of saliva connecting their lips. The two men searched through the group, Eddy and Nat were at the front with each and every one of their friends behind.

“What the FUCK was that!” Kevin demanded, gritting his teeth as anger took over his veins, he wanted to tear the male to shreds.

“More like what the FUCK was that Mr. _I’ve been in love with you since high school_ hahaha!” Eddy mocked him, doubling over. Kevin’s face tinted pink as he was humiliated in front of every person he was ever close to.

“Since Edd is turning twenty-one we wanted to do something cool and horrifying, so we found this place that does escape rooms and they let us rent this cabin to do a totally fake slasher mystery. You were supposed to know about it Kevin but um…. Yeah…. Maybe next time don’t mention how many people I’ve slept with when we’re on a double date with someone I really like! Thanks for running to save me though that was super sweet.” Kevin’s stomach dropped, he remembered the last outing he and Nat had ended on bad terms, where Kevin accidentally brought up Nat’s double-digit number in front of James, the uptight English major that Nat was going gaga over for months. After that date, Nat was completely blocked by James and the two best friends weren’t exactly on speaking terms. “Your confession to Double D was also super sweet I always knew you had a little crush!”

Now entirely humiliated, Kevin stood rapidly, exiting the closet. Nat prepared another joke, but Kevin wouldn’t let him. “I am going to kick both of your asses.” Kevin spoke softly with no emotion in his voice. “I will give you both a five second head start before I tear you limb from limb. Five. Four. Three. Two.”

Though they were laughing a second before, both men pushed past the group to try and run away. Kevin had malice in his eyes and he planned to get his vengeance. As for Edd, he remained in the closet with his hat pulled over his eyes. Though he appreciated his friends, they were awful for planning such an awful birthday surprise. Edd knew he wouldn’t sleep that night, or the next probably, or the next. He knew that absolutely nothing could have made the night worse.

Kevin eventually caught up to them both and decided to tie them into pretzel knots, although beating them to death was on his mind, he decided to let them suffer instead of giving them an easy way out. Kevin used Eddy’s jacket to tie a knot around and then connected it to Nat through his belt loop. Nat’s necklace was tangled in Eddy’s and their arms were playing twister. No one dared free them.

Later in the hour Kevin found Edd sitting on the couch in the living room. The rest of the young adults had passed out upstairs, in the beds. “Hey.” Kevin tried to deliver a friendly smile, “Mind if I sit here?”

“I would be honored with your presence.” Edd smiled back, there was an awkward tension in the air, but the two at least felt right together.

“So uh, how do you feel?” Kevin swallowed hard, making conversation wasn’t exactly the easiest at the moment.

“I feel my blood pressure has finally returned to nearly normal, how are you doing?”

He chuckled, not knowing how to really answer. “I have a lot on my mind I guess….I know Nat and I are fine, he apologized earlier and I sucker punched him, I mean I guess I deserved it, he was dating this kid for a few months and they took us to their daughter’s Quinceañera and I pretty much told his boyfriend’s entire family that Nat’s fuck total is in the forties.”

“Oh my that’s terrible, why did you do it?”

“Honestly I can’t remember, I think I did it out of petty but Nat was really down for this guy, I fucked that up. You didn’t deserve this, at all though. You didn’t even seem to like the movie.”

Edd nodded, feeling a blush creep on his cheeks. “You are right, I dislike horror films, and um, sorry I accidentally grabbed your… uh…” He pointed down, reminding Kevin of what had happened before the shit storm.

“Hey don’t worry about it.” He smiled, feeling his own embarrassment invade this expression. “Not like I didn’t like it heh, heh…” Edd smiled at the joke, but did not laugh. He seemed uncomfortable, Kevin wanted to make it better. “Look I’m sorry about…. You know, I guess in the moment I kind of just said-”

“Things that you didn’t mean?”

“No! No! Not at all… I -um, look…” He gently grabbed Edd’s hands, attempting to add sincerity to the moment, “I meant what I said just I didn’t want to say anything until I felt it was right.”

“It’s been three years since we graduated Kevin, when was the right time going to come?”

His questions were good. “I guess in my eyes you’re so perfect I needed the moment to be perfect too, I wanted to tell you I love you not because I was afraid but in confidence. And I wanted it to be private too, but I couldn’t think of an excuse to ever get you alone.”

“Do you love me Kevin?”

A second passed, Kevin didn’t need to think about the answer. “I do, I really do. And maybe in a few days if you are free I can maybe take you out on a um- date and we can actually celebrate your birthday?”

Edd smiled wide, “Fine, but I will not tolerate alcohol, I bet alcohol is what gave Eddy this stupid idea.”

“Of course. It’s a date then.” Kevin smiled, and Edd nodded. They continued to talk for about another hour until they started to pass out. Around four in the morning, right after the two had went around the house locking every single door and window they could, Edd and Kevin toppled over on the couch, falling into the depths of sleep while in each other’s arms.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Person A and a group of friends have gotten together to rent a cabin in the mountains for a weekend during winter break. Person B is invited by mutual friends and while there they all decide to watch scary movies. Person B can’t stand scary movies but doesn’t have the nerve to say anything. They sit next to Person A growing closer and closer with each jump scare and eventually Person C comes out in a ski mask and a baseball bat and screams scaring all of them and Person B falls directly into A.


End file.
